earlier this week i was putting the kids in the car so we could go to the library.  after i buckled nathan into his carseat, i looked up to see max sitting in the driver's seat with his hands on the wheel.  he looked at me and in total seriousness asked, "mom, can i drive?"  "um, i don't think so," i replied.  "yeah, max," chirped in emma, "you can't drive until you're 16!"  "no, emma," i corrected her. "YOU can drive when you're 16.  max can't drive until he's 21."

nathan was crying (actually, let's be honest, he was screaming like a banshee) this afternoon, and in an effort to stop the crying, max clamped a hand over nathan's mouth and scolded, "stop crying, baby!"  i have no plans of ever letting him babysit.

me: max, can you please pick that toy up for me?
max: sure
me: thanks, honey
max: mom, i'm not honey!  i'm just max!

i went out to the garage yesterday afternoon to grab something out of the car.  i guess emma hadn't seen me walk out the door because when i came back in, she was expecting someone else:
emma: DADDY! DAD - (then she recognized it wasn't daddy).  oh, it's just you.

apparently, daddy is way more exciting than mom.

emma knows she's not supposed to take the pillows off the new couch, but it's usually too irresistible for her to actually follow this rule.  yesterday i had already put her in timeout for taking the pillows off the couch, and afterwards, she was playing in the living room (where the new couch is) while i was making dinner in the kitchen.  after a few minutes she called out to me, "mom, i don't want you to come in this room.  and if you have to go up the stairs, you need to close your eyes."  i guess timeout wasn't as effective as i'd hoped.

i was taking pictures of the kids for father's day, and i had to retake all the pictures i had taken because i didn't realize i had cut off the very tops of their heads in the first photo shoot.
emma: mom, why are you taking nathan's picture again?
me: because i accidentally cut off his head in the last pictures.
emma:  YOU CUT OFF HIS HEAD?!
i was laughing hysterically while trying to explain i didn't LITERALLY cut off his head.

max and emma always get a small treat after dinner if they eat a decent amount of food off their plates.  they can pick to have an oreo, some marshmallows, m&ms, etc.  tonight max picked to have marshmallows and emma picked an oreo.  max shoved all the marshmallows (probably 4 or 5) in his mouth before emma had even started on her oreo.  emma had broken her oreo into smaller pieces and was eating it slowly.  max asked to have an oreo, and we told him "no" because he had picked marshmallows for his treat.  he looked over at emma's partially-eaten oreo, grabbed the pieces off the counter, shoved them in his mouth, and stated, "i got an oreo!"  you gotta watch out for this kid.  he is determined to get what he wants.  as my mom put it, he's a survivor! 

max LOVES to tease emma.  incessantly.  so he constantly takes toys from her and runs through the house yelling, "na na na na na na!" and laughing hysterically while emma tries to get her toy back.  he is the perfect "annoying little brother."  i've decided that living with emma and max is like living with jamie and chris: the poor little girl is minding her own business when little brother comes along with the sole purpose of driving her crazy - just because he thinks it's hilarious.  they really do love each other though, and at least i can say that my life is DEFINITELY not boring!

emma (while holding nate): hi nathan.  i'm emma.  i'm your favorite sister.

emma: mom, i need something to tie around my waist because my hips are being crazy.

i don't even know what that means.

emma: max, look!  i'm a princess!
max: i'm a ballerina princess!

you sure about that, buddy?

emma: mom, who made the ants?
me: heavenly father
emma: why is heavenly father being so crazy making ants?

good question.

max: i have a baby in my tummy! (he thinks because mom has a baby in her tummy, everyone has babies in their tummies).
emma: no you don't, max.  only moms can have babies in their tummies.
max: yeah! me too!
emma: no, max.  when i'm a mom i'll have a baby in my tummy but you're going to be a dad, so you can't have a baby in your tummy.
max: no, i'm going to be a mom and have a baby in my tummy.
emma: MAX! YOU CAN'T BE A MOM BECAUSE YOU'RE A BOY! YOU CAN'T HAVE A BABY IN YOUR TUMMY! MOM, TELL HIM HE CAN'T HAVE A BABY IN HIS TUMMY!
me: it's ok, emma.  max can pretend.
emma: oh, ok.  max, you can have a pretend baby in your tummy but NOT a real one.

-this argument lasted at least ten minutes longer as emma tried to convince max he could only have a pretend baby.  she's very correct about everything, so in her mind, max has to be correct too.